I am just from having a conversation with a group of my jamaas; weirdly they claim that when they have issues they talk it out with their friends. I laughed hysterically, because they make it sound as if am not one of them, and I am certain of the fact that they rarely share their issues, also me included. I am convinced of the opinion that people not only men but also ladies are less prone to share what’s burning up in their hearts. I believe that people share only what they are willing to share on, because of what they expect to receive in return maybe; comfort, encouragement, or advice or maybe some assistance in different forms. People rarely share what’s hurting them simply for the plain purpose of speaking it out. However am not writing this to condemn anyone it’s just that my pen makes me think.
These thoughts, conversations and a couple of recent experiences prompt my thinking about emotional hurt. The different responses we have when hurt versus the best response. A few days ago in my usual daily routine I received some very shocking and disappointing news, when my superior at work put aside every plan that I had in my line of duty and eventually cancelled all of them. That was not easy for me, because all my long-term plans had simply vanished into thin air. I was like “Did you have to wait this long to cancel all I’ve been working on?” However, as much as it was disappointing, I was forced to carry the burden of bearing it. This disappointment brought about confusion, it yielded hopelessness of where my future is headed, I became strained over how to go about things in my life. Then I realized sometimes it’s good to be hurt, sit there and simply feel the pain that comes along. Because often when we get hurt we want to move on, we want to sit on it and forget it ever happened to us; at times we want to share it with others so that we can feel that we are normal people. But that’s not what we really need. Because these things are good ways of dealing with hurt, but in one way or the other they have their own faults. But if hurt comes our way the best approach is not to ignore it, the best approach is to acknowledge its presence and deal with it. People who grieve the loss of their loved ones a lot at the time of death tend to move on in life afterwards, people who don’t grieve especially at the time of loss hardly move. Because it is in weeping that we get healing, it is in pain and hurt that we become strong. So weep and mourn if it is time to, cry if you have to express your anguish, feel the pain and hurt because that’s the source of your strength.
Am about to close down this piece and a few thoughts come to mind in line with the question; what do you do when you get hurt? I must say there’s no given formula or approach to this, but am prompted to share a few thoughts from scripture. First is this one:
“Be angry and do not sin, do not let the sun go down in your anger.”(ESV)
Scripture affirms that we will get hurt, disappointments, trauma and sorrow will come, but that’s not an excuse to fall into sin. Let not your hurt lead you to sin regardless. Secondly from the second epistle of Corinthians,
2nd Corinthians 7:10
“For Godly grief produces a repentance that leads to salvation without regret, whereas worldly grief produce death.”(ESV)
Where does our grief lead us to? Ooh I already asked that before, ok so the question is, Where should grieve lead me to? It has to lead us to God, for if not so then it is misleading us. So let our sorrow, hurt and pain lead us closer to God as opposed to taking us away from him. Finally
More than that, we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance.”
“I would love to relate the above verse with this one here.” (ESV)
“Count it all joy my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds,
for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness.”(ESV)
I believe that every bitter experience in life is not just there to make us bitter or sorrowful, but it comes our way to teach us and to mould us. So as the scriptures put it clearly, let every hurt and every pain have some fruit that it bears.
So let it hurt, let the pain flow because you might not be able to control that, but you are able to control what happens thereafter and so take charge of that,
“For his anger is but for a moment,
and his favor for a lifetime.
Weeping may tarry for the night,
but joy comes in the morning.”(ESV)